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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his conduct, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice around the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with the condition are males, research suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Even with this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her partner “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I never had that in my formative years,” she says. There were no boundaries when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a therapist for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for talking therapy through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number